![]() We must do our best based on our own knowledge of the world and by being open to exploring experiences that are different from our own. The truth is that you can never truly know just how another person feels or views the world. Or the self-absorbed television personality might argue that she’d be happy to listen to others if they ever talked about anything interesting.Įach human being exists inside of a subjective sphere created by his own experience. For example, the arrogant intellectual might claim that he*d treat others better if they weren't so dumb. Even when their flaws are pointed out to them, these people say things like “Oh, I’ve heard that before but I don’t believe it.” A few people are so blinded by their flaws that they’ve lost all perspective. Sometimes people know their flaws are problems, but other times they live in merry denial. But those very same flaws may be his downfall. On the positive aspects of manipulation, scheming, and cold-hearted decision- making. Your character may have climbed to fame or fortune by relying And for all of their charisma, successful people don’t usually get ahead by being gullible or wishy-washy. For example, taken to extremes, confidence can become swaggering haughtiness, just as attractiveness can lead to vanity and superficiality. For example, if your character is a confident, attractive, high-powered success, there’s a good chance that those positives qualities are also casting shadows. Other flaws are the dark sides of our positive attributes. Sometimes flaws develop as we attempt to defend against further hurts. Everyone is damaged, some people more severely than others, and the hurts we’ve experienced in life leave wounds that change the way we view the world and ourselves. I quickly learned that no matter what you see on the outside, everyone struggles on the inside. ![]() When I started doing psychotherapy as a counselor, I was privy to many people’s secrets. As a writer, you’ll want to make sure you also explore your characters’ more problematic traits, because that’s where you'll find both inner and outer conflict. While you and the people who care about you will probably emphasize your positive qualities, there?s more to all of us than positive attributes. You'll likely find striking similarities. If you want some verification, ask a couple of close friends or family members to make their own lists describing your personality and then compare notes. It’s easy to identify them- just make a quick list of the Characteristics that best describe you. PERSONALITY THEORY SAYS THAT all of us have five to ten central traits that define us.
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